Pre Natal Update

Nothing much happened. I am now anxiously waiting for the day to come.

It seems mortality rate for some kids has been quite a highlight for the past week.

I had a nephew died to heart complication, Al Fatihah to Abdul Salam, the cheeky boy from NK's side, happened last two weeks. The sudden death of my friend, Julie's unborn baby (39 weeks same as mine), was also a shocking news. Apparently the cause of the death was undetermined. The heart beat stop ticking after that friend of mine experienced some mild contraction the night before. The next day, upon a check up, it was confirmed the baby did not give any sign of life. Al Fatihah to arwah Ammar. Semoga arwah tenang bersama yang telah terpilih di sana.

After many kids and babies being killed in Gaza and the rest of the world, I believe it is a sign for us to look back into our purpose being into this world. Harsh to say, there are many babies are left abandoned by the parents who perhaps have no choice because these people are illegitimate, or being too poor to have babies or simply they don't care as long as they have something to eat at the end of the day. For parents, kids mean continuity of generations. Some may have to wait for years, some are adopting and some keep on trying. What ever it is, if we are bestowed with one, or more, nothing is more precious  than to see them safe and nurtured. 

For these few days, I left some advice to hub for just-in-case scenario.

I dunno why but if I have a chance to survive, that is good enough. but if I don't, I wish my long time wishes will be granted, not fully 100%, but some will do.

I wanted my elder kid, Fatiha to be raised by my family side.

I wanted my surviving next of kin, this one, to be raised by my Hub's side.

I wanted my son, just in case he will find me someday, to forgive me as the one who gave him up. To accept the reality that he has two living sisters, insya allah, and these three kids of mine will be in reunion. 

Selfish to say, they ought to know that their bio mother is somehow love them so much and willing to do anything just to have them in this world, even separation means people have to move away to survive but the blood connection will keep them intact. Things happened for a reason, and I am not going to explain more. Leave it to Him. He know the best.

Whatever it is, hope things will be OK. I would like to ask forgiveness for any unintended stuff said before or any action that may irked some people. 

Why I am telling all my wishes here? Yeah, as honest as you can find stuff in my post, that is me.

Till then, take care!