The Treatment

As I am typing this, I am chewing my first Nicorette gum and what does it taste?

Heavenly. My craving simply went away. Funny when I first taste it, I terbatuk batuk. Macam ada asap pun kan!

I can simply chew nicotin gum whenever I like. Even during the meeting. So guys, no fire break after this yeah!

Why suddenly I need to quit smoking?

I realize my breathing started to have problem when it comes to running. Selalu sangat semput. I cannot depend on my heart rate monitor cause it did not stated that I am a smoker, so my heart rate will not be able to tell me the exact rate due to the condition. Wish I can have cleaner lung for my first half marathon ehehehhehe. I need all the pumping healthy heart. Yup, I am now starting my training. I need to run! It has been ages!

Second thing, I notice how glowing my complexion was when I was pregnant. I would not smoke during 9 months of pregnancy. Even when I breast fed Fatiha, my ezcema was hardly strike on me. My skin was glowing due hormonal changes and no presence of toxic substance in my blood stream. Yup, I am missing those days. When I did not have even to put on a makeup. People complimented my skin. And luckily Fatiha and Adam was born with undamaged brain or jantung berlubang. fuh! Masih pandai lagi otak mereka.

What makes me to smoke in the first place?

I was not a juvenile delinquent , to be exact, a rebellious teenager who always a trouble maker when the parents say no, I would do exactly the opposite. So it started when I had this time - my parents were getting divorce, I had no money during my matriculation years and I resorted to join budak-budak meniaga kat kafe desasiswa. They were understanding friends....ehheheheh

During my early days in Uni too, I had to work part time to support my studies and my family . Classes during the day and at night, I would wait tables for hours till early morning and you know what, I need nicotin for the extra power to stay awake during the classes. The most horror part that I used not to sleep in 72 hours; catching assignment deadlines a.k.a my programming and coding and my boss need me to set up skirting for 200 tables for American Women Association's Christmas Flea Market. Then I need to wait for tables in our cafetaria. I remembered those time when I practically sleep with needles in my pockets and my shirt. Most importantly, I needed to stay awake in replying my daily love letters from Norman, commuting from and to Seberang Prai, merempit, dating, bergayut kat phone booth, my Desasiswa Harapan Hockey practise, Kayak for Harapan Adventure Team etc etc. Life then was so hectic. Teruk betul!

After some years, I was too, depending on painkillers to ease my operation wound. So nicotine was a replacement to my most powerful substance which is morphine. I got cranky like Mrs. Dubose, not exactly lar, I am exaggerating, but you know, my mood swing totally turn off people.

The good news is; I do not need painkillers to combat that "renjatan" when I do my jumping jacks or strenous physical activities. My pain threshold has improve within time according to my doctor, so it is time to let go my nicotine too....

Positive Side

Luckily I am not taik ganja or kaki pil. Huh....thank god my severe migraine prevent me to enjoy this!

Negative Side

Nicorette gum cost me double than my Dunhill lights. Deym, it is costly to stop even to maintain the habit! And after this, I will be gaining some weight, so I need to double up my exercise routine.

Conclusion

Even though the pharmacist was reluctant to sell me this prescription, I persuaded the lady saying that by hook and crook, I need to stop smoking. So friends, who rasa ada mau test my willpower, u better do not! There is no turning back.

To friends, I need your support and understanding. :P

To glowing and healthier me. And of course, mak akan lebih semakin subur! So, what's after this? Freezing my healthier eggs....