DPA or No DPA?

Eversince the department was aware that we are going for our DPA (Diploma Pentadbiran Awam though it was such a regret that we havent get the date), it always being an issue whether should my boss assign me with complex task or let me have my 20 days of freedom (finishing on whatsoever left for me here), it was such a big puzzle for everyone of us, until one day, I paksa diri mengadap my Pengarah just to get his approval for next coming meetings.

"Jazmin, are you going for your DPA?"

"Yup, though we havent get our letter, it is confirmed this 23rd July"

ehehhehe, mcam dia tau tau rancangan jahat aku nak cuti masa DPA ni. Lepas ni nak sambung balik modul yang tertinggal tu. janji dapat transfer kementerian whereby the syarat to tukar, u must completed your DPA.

"If you are not going now which you are going for next year, remain and work here!"

Pergh. ayat keramat tu. Even my ex never ask me to "stay" when I clearly made my mind to leave him in peace. Macam drama korea jer bila dia kat sofa silang kaki, tang aku termangu-mangu tengok dia sign my letters. Hmm.... apa mimpi Mr.P ni suh aku stay plak kat Jabatan ni? dulu baling-baling file jer kat aku, la suh aku remain plak. Ni mesti ada muslihat ni. Jeng, jeng, jeng! I wont be easily get myself cheated this time. mesti ada udang di sebalik batu tapi takper, time will tell and definitely it will come out to reveal.

Berbalik pasal DPA, there was rumours that ours one will be like 9 months.huhuh. banyak betul penjimatan yang boleh dilakukan ni. Dari segi kos lar, sebab makan free the whole term tu. hihihihi. But my heart definitely berat hati meninggalkan anak tersayang kerana fatiha will be having her standard one thingy and she is now at the crucial stage whereby she needs me for her phonics and her reading. Have plan to buy her so many books, especially those cute Lady Bug series, or Dr.Seuss. Lepas tu mak dia pun nak tumpang sekaki borong Roald Dahl collection ahahahahhahaha.

Dunno why I become so sentimental these days when i think about children. Tak pernah rasa sedih ni macam sedih putus cinta ker atau berpisah dengan ex ker (yer la kalau dah takder ikatan , boleh blar la lu!). Lain rasanya. for those yang dah ada, taula kan. spender terkoyak pun tak per. janji baju anak elok, bersih dan presentable. ejejejejejejeje. It must be my maternal instint berlebih-lebih la ni. Hormone surge high and low. And the most saddest part, is the same history will repeat, where someone have to let go someone for the sake of someone. Aku tatau keputusan ni sama ada rasional tetapi memikirkan kalau boleh aku nak semua orang dapat tinggal sebumbung, hidup sekeluarga and we are happy one big happy family which I am now like Angelina Jolie, only without my Brad Pitt. Kan bagus kalau aku dok kat Hollywood, nobody cares!

To Muhammad Adam, semoga menjadi insan yang berguna satu hari nanti, kalau ada rezeki, kita jumpa lagi. walaupun tempoh singkat kita bersama, tapi inilah yang terbaik mama dapat lakukan. Maafkan mama......