salah aku bila terlalu berkira?
Some of you may think that I am too calculative to my own family but what do you feel when you accidentally found this note one day;
1) Yuran sekolah Jazmin = RMXXX
2) Buku sekolah Jazmin = RMXXX
3) Bank In Jazmin BSN = RMXXX
.
.
.
.
.
x) kos bersalin jazmin = RMXXXX
y) susu + pampers Fatiha = RMXXXX
z) klinik fatiha = RMXXXX
.
.
and some years later, it was followed by these notes;
1) Jazmin bagi on X/y = RMXXX
2) Jazmin bank-in Maybank = RMXXX
3) Jazmin bank-in = RMXXXX
4) Pinjaman Jazmin bagi = RMXXXX
5) Cash Advance Jazmin = XXXX
.
.
.
X) Belanja raya Jazmin bagi = RMXXX
y) ......
When a friend of mine quoted that I am so berkira with my mum, I never wanted to it that way. Then today I realised that despite how good I was providing the money, it will not be enough to satisfy her. And I have to accept the fact, that I will not be as one of her beneficiaries if she dies. Luckily, because of my previous employment record, she was able to secure her dream house, her car, her need to put a stop in paying the bills since she was not working and of course for years I have been struggling to come up with the terms of being peminjam bank, which at the end I have to bear all the interest. End of the day, because of her and my future bapa tiri, I was black listed for a bill amounting RM1,500 for my TELEKOM despite my effort to ask him to pay back as I want to use the Internet for working purpose. That was 10 years ago. Itu pun masing masing buat tak tahu sehingga sekarang. Masing-masing sibuk bincang tentang cincin, hantaran, kenduri-kendara di waktu aku tengah nak mula kerja baru and gaji pun tak tau bila nak masuk.
So it will be back to the same question, "adilkah mereka?"
I pasrah dan mengharapkan yang terbaik.
1) Yuran sekolah Jazmin = RMXXX
2) Buku sekolah Jazmin = RMXXX
3) Bank In Jazmin BSN = RMXXX
.
.
.
.
.
x) kos bersalin jazmin = RMXXXX
y) susu + pampers Fatiha = RMXXXX
z) klinik fatiha = RMXXXX
.
.
and some years later, it was followed by these notes;
1) Jazmin bagi on X/y = RMXXX
2) Jazmin bank-in Maybank = RMXXX
3) Jazmin bank-in = RMXXXX
4) Pinjaman Jazmin bagi = RMXXXX
5) Cash Advance Jazmin = XXXX
.
.
.
X) Belanja raya Jazmin bagi = RMXXX
y) ......
When a friend of mine quoted that I am so berkira with my mum, I never wanted to it that way. Then today I realised that despite how good I was providing the money, it will not be enough to satisfy her. And I have to accept the fact, that I will not be as one of her beneficiaries if she dies. Luckily, because of my previous employment record, she was able to secure her dream house, her car, her need to put a stop in paying the bills since she was not working and of course for years I have been struggling to come up with the terms of being peminjam bank, which at the end I have to bear all the interest. End of the day, because of her and my future bapa tiri, I was black listed for a bill amounting RM1,500 for my TELEKOM despite my effort to ask him to pay back as I want to use the Internet for working purpose. That was 10 years ago. Itu pun masing masing buat tak tahu sehingga sekarang. Masing-masing sibuk bincang tentang cincin, hantaran, kenduri-kendara di waktu aku tengah nak mula kerja baru and gaji pun tak tau bila nak masuk.
So it will be back to the same question, "adilkah mereka?"
I pasrah dan mengharapkan yang terbaik.
I think parents think that we owe them so much because they brought us into this world, but I think they forget one fact, quoted from movie Cinta ( and changed to my understanding), perhaps they should realize that anak bukan hak yg mutlak, tapi anugerah.
ReplyDeleteIf what we did to the best of our ability tak cukup utk diconsider as membalas jasa, I think I would rather not have any kids than to burden them with the family obligation and responsibility...