End of the Road
The family feud is yet to end, but I am embarking another chapter of my life with a new-found courage and determination, after a lot of consideration and votes from the members. I have to let things to flow freely, like those ashes in Ganges River where every journey will come to an end. Like an ex-friend said, there is a ghost overshadowing me, and the torture of waiting will bring you nowhere except those pain and heart break. I have suffered humiliation, loneliness and every thing that made me sad. Every cry of the name will only bring tears and I am miserable enough to endure this kind of game where the other party perhaps living recklessly without to worry the past mistake and the future consequences. It seems that Fate had chosen me, but I berserah kepada ketentuan, as I did all my best to redeem my errors and now a peaceful mind is what I deserve.
There will be changes, where I am now terminating my banking account so that I will not receive any single penny especially when it comes to my birthday. I will be surviving without that party’s concern as like my father said, that having no-balls-but-I-did-not-wash-my-hands-at-all will be not good enough to raise a kid, so it is up to me to sail the journey alone as the parenting world can differs from time to time. 4 years is a long time to wait for someone’s act, definitely the product of his seed has grown into a beautiful bright kid who deserves better person as the father.
As I do believe that the initial intention of wiring the support money was probably just to combat that party’s guilt feeling, it has seeping into my vein which the presence has overpowering my life in every aspect. I hate to admit that checking my account has been like a routine, so the erase any thought of this person, I have to end the connection. Any feeling and hope reserved for this person will soon vanish and thinking that my life is not over yet, there will be someone special who deserves all my kind of loving and attention. So starting now onwards, I will be start to date any potential person for replacement, opening my thought for other people instead of keeping mental images of the previous one and I will probably laugh at myself for those pathetic attempts. No more agony widow this time.
There will be changes, where I am now terminating my banking account so that I will not receive any single penny especially when it comes to my birthday. I will be surviving without that party’s concern as like my father said, that having no-balls-but-I-did-not-wash-my-hands-at-all will be not good enough to raise a kid, so it is up to me to sail the journey alone as the parenting world can differs from time to time. 4 years is a long time to wait for someone’s act, definitely the product of his seed has grown into a beautiful bright kid who deserves better person as the father.
As I do believe that the initial intention of wiring the support money was probably just to combat that party’s guilt feeling, it has seeping into my vein which the presence has overpowering my life in every aspect. I hate to admit that checking my account has been like a routine, so the erase any thought of this person, I have to end the connection. Any feeling and hope reserved for this person will soon vanish and thinking that my life is not over yet, there will be someone special who deserves all my kind of loving and attention. So starting now onwards, I will be start to date any potential person for replacement, opening my thought for other people instead of keeping mental images of the previous one and I will probably laugh at myself for those pathetic attempts. No more agony widow this time.
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