Hectic......

Nothing interesting happened for the weekend, except for chaos, delay and bad timing.

I am supposed to visit a friend's wedding on Sunday, and the day before was to move out everything from the house and settled down as soon as possible. But it was fate that changed everything, my babysitter texted me that she was unable to take care of Fatiha on Saturday, so I have to postpone the moving thingy to the next day and cancelled the trip to Raub Pahang for the wedding. Because of this, Yanti was not around to help us, coz she has to go to Kuantan for her grandma on the same day. It is only me, the little girl and three Indian men who shifted the stuff to the new house. Unluckily the budget was really tight, i was having only RM20 after paying their service. I felt really down, tired and demotivated but as long as it was the right thing to do, I just "pasrah" for everything happened. Sabar.....................

Then on Monday, I was receiving call from Acik saying that she just returned and have no energy after kenduri arwah. Her sister has just died from cancer and it seemed no one to take care of Fatiha on the day itself. I almost like bursting out. There were tons of work to be done at the office, so I decided to send my kid for ex-neighbour where she will only managed to take care of her after 12.00 . She needed to pick her employer's daugther at the play school. So I took emergency leave for half day and sent her. While I am sending her to the house, I did remember that I leave some important document (my policy, bank statement) in the old house. Rushing, I went back to the house and saw that the new installed door knob was not closely attached. It was my mistake of not properly installed the knob ( i was locked outside accidentally previously), so I had to installed back the knob before my old house owner to notice the "cacat" thingy. Again, I spent two hours there, trying to see the mistake of the knob. Everything worked fine except it did not make the door to be attached to the door frame. Then i knew what was the problem. The latch did not really connected to the hole part of the frame. I almost crying because I need a man to do this and the one who can fixed thing is my ex, Khalid. So I have to take out the old hole guard, installed with a new one (from the new door set) and managed to settled the problem and went back to work as soon as possible.

There were things to be done, putting the advertisement at 7-11 store, getting a new tong gas (or we will be starving) packing and unpacking and lot of stuff for the new house. When I look things back, I was like "oh, my....this is the path I choose to have ... to be away from everyone, after being like confused and dazed with the changes. I dont want to be the head and tail of the problems that I caused to my friends and family. The words of those people who warned me in the past was still echoing inside my head. The words of Khalid and Yanti's father. I was like running away from anyone because some people said that I gave problems to their loved ones. There is a price for "independence", so I am toiling to the max to reach that and proved to anyone that I am not what they think. And I know that it is a long way to go. I will not give up, surrender or simply said this is fate. And it is the time to see my shrink again. Hopefully things will be better.